we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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