We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
