All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
