Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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