i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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