I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
they're like a gay fantastic four
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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