8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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