Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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