Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
