Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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