Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
