She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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