You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He passed out mid-signature
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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