you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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