She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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