you would pick up someone in the library
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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