the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
