Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize