No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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