For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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