Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
