TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
