Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
