I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
