We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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