Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How's work?
Spinning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
