4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
