he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
