I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
