i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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