just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
