You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
