things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
