i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
