I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk is a universal language darling
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
