new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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