Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
