So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
