We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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