put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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