I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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