Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
