seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
