Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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