Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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