Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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