Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
