Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
