Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
