How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
