Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
