Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
