my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm like, not good at living.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
