Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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