last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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