i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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