Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
