Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
