Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
