You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
