Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am naked and annoyed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
