I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I smell stomach acid.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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