need another drink. this is the easiest way
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
