dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
