There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
