its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
