dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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