Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
