I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
