Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
