ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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