Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
